Lead Kindly Light

Upon reading all the contents of the 2005 planner that my father gave me about two years ago - I, again, remember those happy moments when he was still with us...though it continue to cease ever since this year started. This happened one day, about May, 2008. I forgot the exact date. But that was the time that I was so much engrossed in my preparation for my mission so that I would be able to pass my mission papers as soon as possible. I asked my father about his conversion story. He asked me "Why?". I told him I just wanted to know all about it. We didn't know then that he would die the month after. Upon hearing my reply...he smiled. Then he started to tell his story. It was a usual cloudy day down the bagasbas beach of January 1974. He visited his friend, who lives in a store just in front of the beach. My father used to love alcohol so his visits to his friends means another drinking session. During that drinking session, this friend of his told him about ...

I've lost it - the talent that I used to have. I am out of words, my mind is not working quite well. All I can do now is watch and observe... and appreciate everything I see. The beauty of the littlest thing - the littlest detail... But I couldn't write those details down anymore. My mind is lost...this bore me. and what makes it worst is this baloney of talk all around me. I cannot relate. It makes me go back to my own little world...the world that only I could understand. I have with me this barrier that separates me from all the other primates. It is always with me. I cannot write well...I cannot communicate well...so what I do is just stay quiet and create my own world. I do this by organizing all the tiniest detail that I see...or re-organizing them in my mind...everything. ...and with this...I am contented.

Elaine Elnar, Rhea Seno, Aj Guy, and Ryan Adeva; This may sound familiar to you. I found this in one of my old notebooks...handwritten by some student's who, sometimes, doesn't listen that much in class...specially if the teacher is a loser! lol! Enjoy reading:) Husband ko raw xa dun sa dream ko, but same age pa din. Then parang hindi kami close dun. parang may problem daw, kc parang di kami masyado nagpapansinan. Pero mag-asawa kami. Then may 1 person na nag-ask kung bakit wala pa raw kaming anak then un, na, parang NEWLY WED lang kami dun. and un na The end, nagising me eh... ok lang yan, kahit san n? hmmm...pano nga b? Ewan ko kung san pero ayaw ko na mag exam, SURA!!! Basta may date ako maya, muahahaha! RHEA :) sama k, chaperone b?! daya nyo nman.... wag na tau exam its me :) its you! ako naman, it's me! ano namang madaya don? Bakit, nagkadayaan ba? *kamot sa ulo* wala lang...bakit nga b?! an...

One morning, a little before lunchtime, when I was about 5 years old... my mother bought a basketball jersey for me and my brother. Both of us are considered "bunso" of the family so whatever my brother get...I got to have one, too. We were so excited about it that we wore it as soon as it reached our hands. I even imagine myself as one of those basketball players I've seen on T.V. I was so happy. My brother get to have the blue jersey and I get to have the orange one. That was my first jersey. I always smile whenever I remember that moment. After lunch we all prepare ourselves for siesta. One of my sisters (who used to be the youngest girl in the family when I wasn't born yet) and my brother decided to play a little more and went to the upper deck of our bed. I stayed on the lower bunk and continue to imagine myself as one of those basketball stars. I suddenly noticed a small string on my jersey and asked myself why is it there. I decided to pull it, never thought ...